What Eli did
by Lastavica
Summary: One shot. Jack & Kim post season 2 sometime after Jack healed up. The title speaks for itself.


"Dad?"

Jack looked up from his paper. Kim was standing awkwardly in the doorway.

He smiled. "Hey Sweetheart."

"Can I talk to you?"

"Sure. Come sit down." He gestured the the step beside him.

She didn't move. "Can we sit inside?"

"Ok." Folding the paper, he got up from the porch steps and followed her in. Father and daughter sat down on the couch. Jack noticed the small distance she maintained between them.

"Are you ok, Kim?"

She nodded, yet her face betrayed her.

"I've been thinking a lot lately." She closed her eyes. "There's something... I have to tell you. It's been a long time I've been keeping it in."

He nodded and took her hand in his. "Ok."

She met his eyes for comfort then looked straight ahead, preparing herself.

"The day mom died."

Jack inwardly cringed.

"When, we were being held..."

She took a deep breath and gave a shuddering exhale. A tear slipped out. "One of the guards came in and-"

Kim began to cry. Jack put his arm around his daughter's shoulder and pulled her to him. She accepted and leaned in. He thought he knew where this was going and it made him want to throw up. However, she hadn't finished and he didn't want to assume too.

"His name was Eli. Mom shot him later... He told me to go in the other room with him, but I refused and he came after me until-" She began to release sobs.

"C'mere." Jack gently covered her head with his other and and pulled it closer to him. "Whatever it is sweetheart, it's ok. I love you. Shh. It's alright baby."

Kim continued to sob for a moment more before she could speak again.

"Mom stopped him. She said he could take her..."

Jack's heart dropped.

"She said she wouldn't fight him." She gasped sharply. "And then they left... and it's my fault!" She wept loudly into her dad's chest, soaking his shirt. He held her tightly.

"I'm sorry Daddy!" she sobbed.

"Sweetheart, what are you sorry for?" Jack felt his own composure begin slip away.

"She told me not to tell you!"

Then it felt as though the wind was knocked from him, but heard himself say "It's ok sweetheart" and squeezed his eyes shut tightly. It hurt so badly. "It's not your fault, baby. It's not your fault." he whispered into her hair. Tears had appeared in his eyes and they burned. He took a deep breath and broke too. He had wanted to stay strong for Kim, but could not take it either. He cried hard into her hair. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" he mumbled in between his deep sobs. He couldn't believe what his child had been holding in for so long. He couldn't believe what had happened to Teri. He still couldn't bare that he failed to protect them.

Jack lay in bed all night just thinking. He could understand Teri's initial decision to keep it a secret. It made sense and he wouldn't hold it against anyone. But would she have told him if she had survived that day? Would she have confided in him? Could she have gone on afraid he'd reject her or with some other reason? Was it him? Did she think he would not understand and add insult to injury? Could she have really believed that? He turned into his pillow and began to cry. How many times had he pushed thoughts of her away? Since the day she died he had had barely let himself think about her this long. It made him want to die every time. His wife, his second child, their new beginning gone. Then, it kept coming back. She wanted to keep it from him. He tried to reason it. She was shocked, she had not even had time to process it herself, she was ashamed, afraid, etc. It all made sense, but still it broke his heart.

Jack lay down 12 roses, pulled a couple of weeds, then kissed her name. He sat down in the grass cross-legged in front of her head stone. For a moment he sat there picking grass and searched for words.

"I'm sorry, Teri." It was whispered for only her to hear.

The last thing he wanted was to cry again. It seemed like he had done nothing else since Kim told him what happened. The tears came anyway.

"I would have understood and I would have been there for you."

Covering his mouth, he closed his eyes and let it out. Shoulders bouncing helplessly up and down. Everything hurt.


End file.
